My Subconscious is a Jerk

Last night I dreamed I went into the bathroom, picked up a lighter and my hairbrush and proceeded to burn the hair off on the side of my head. I then casually threw my remaining hair up into pigtails and exited the bathroom.
WTF? I casually exited the bathroom?
My subconscious apparently doesn’t know me at all.
Perhaps it has completely forgotten about the time that I accidentally shaved my eyebrow in half, resulting in a meltdown that involved about a hundred different eyeliner pencils and the contemplation of gluing dyed bits of cotton ball to my face to fill in the gaps. It wasn’t pretty.

Or maybe that time that I got overly ambitious and immediately regretful over some freakishly red lip stain. The more I tried to remove it, the worse it got. Things went from “Wow, that’s really red” to “Oh God, I look like the Joker after a couple dozen cherry Otter Pops” within seconds. Long story short, I ended up spending much of my afternoon that day, slathered in shame and ruby lips stain, scrubbing the epidermis off of my face.

via GIPHY

To sweeten this tale, I was sitting with Angelica last night, pouring over her absurdly large collection of lipsticks, stains, and glosses…or “lippies” as she calls them. She told me to pick some out, seeing as how she has more “lippies” than one person could possibly use in a lifetime. To show me the true color, she swiped each one on her arm so I could see what they looked like out of the tube. When the makeup party was over and the mountain of makeup was all put away, she retreated to her vanity to use a makeup remover cloth on her arm.
The funny thing about high quality “lippies” is that they are waterproof. Lifeproof. Wearproof. And apparently makeup remover proof. “What the HELL?” Angelica yelled, all the lipsticks completely unfazed by her feeble attempts. As they sat, almost mockingly sneering at her from her arm, they showed their strength by somehow getting on her upper arm and leg.
She was the most colorful Angelica ever.
So, on a completely unrelated change of topic, to all of my Providence buddies, I need Christmas ideas. Please post in the comments below what you would like. Or at least ideas. I don’t care of it’s vague, like “green things” (Ahem, Sally, I’m looking at you). I need suggestions! I may be thinking of some kind of Christmas get together of sorts….I don’t know yet, but if there’s interest, I may put something together. Let me know what you guys think!

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