The Most “Wonderful” Time of the Year

It’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about Christmas, but rather, the brand of awfulness that Christmas attracts…

Honestly, How did this even become a thing?


“Hey! I have an idea” said the first man in the red apron, “Let’s make some kind of irritating sound that people can’t ignore!”
The second man in a red apron smiles as he pulls a gleaming brass bell from his pocket, “Llke this?” he says as he begins to ring it over and over until the first red aproned man looks as though his head is about to explode.
“Just like that!”
The second red aproned man’s smile turns from delight to something much more sinister. “The best part, when they do give us money “to shut us up,” we won’t stop ringing it. We’ll just keep ringing and ringing and ringing. Muahahahaha” (Super villain laugh)
Ever wonder why bell ringers always seem to wear ear muffs or hats to cover their ears? Cold, my ass. It’s to protect themselves from the suffering they’re inflicting upon the rest of us.
They think they’re so smart.


This time of year also brings more cars to crowd parking lots on any given day or time within the month of December. As Angelica and I were leaving Target the other night, we couldn’t remember where we parked. At ten o’clock at night, this typically isn’t a big deal, but when the parking lot is still full, and it’s 2 degrees, this creates more of an issue.
I refuse to wander the parking lot like I’m lost. I just wont do it. I’ll hold my head up and keep a deliberate stride. Like I’m just taking a casual stroll, with a cart full of things, and an angry Angelica in tow. It’s no big deal. I do this all the time. Up and down the rows of frozen cars. Just taking a walk.
I can’t believe how late into the month it’s gotten and I still haven’t even wrapped a single present. Not one. I don’t even have a logical place where I’m hiding them this year. There’s a present in my fruit basket, just chilling. There’s a few in the living room, one in a closet, and one that’s taking up the seat of the couch.
Any one else just not feeling it this year?


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