Adventures in Dentistry

Taking my mother to the dentist is never anything less than a true adventure. I’ve come to expect this and I’m always prepared. To her credit, she has gotten considerably better over the years that we’ve been sharing this quality time. I no longer have to chase her to get her into the car, so that’s a plus.

Over time, she’s gotten pretty particular about how she wants her dental visits to go: minimal discomfort, comfy blanket, and of course, Albert.

I have no idea why she named the bear Albert.

My job during the dental visit is to serve as a soothing distraction, which I did very badly at today, btw. However, I did learn some fun things to not say while she’s getting her teeth cleaned. I’m sure she’ll be totally cool with me sharing.

 

Things NOT to Say When Mom is Getting Her Teeth Cleaned:

 

Do you smell smoke?

Why is that tooth black?

Is that tooth about to pop out? I’ll catch it! (This one is better with hand gestures)

Did you eat spinach today?

Do you smell that? Was that…you?

 

Or

 

Make this face

Especially not this.

via GIPHY

 

So we live we learn, I guess.

As we were getting ready to leave, I noticed this on the counter

Oh, the nostalgia. When Angelica and I first started volunteering at the hospital, some random med tech with a fierce sense of humor told us that if we didn’t use gloves when using the purple lidded Sani-Cloths, the flesh would melt right off of our hands.

 

MELT OFF

 

Oh Heeeellllll No

From then on, Angelica and I were incredibly careful with Purple Lidded Satan Gloves…until one day, when Angelica wasn’t. Somehow in her cleaning frenzy she managed to brush it against her unprotected arm. Rather than running to the nearest sink to wash away the flesh eating chemicals, we both just stood there and stared at her arm in horror, waiting for something to happen.

Long story short, Angelica still has two arms and the dreaded purple wipes are apparently not as terrifying as once thought.

To you, random med tech guy

About Melynda

Writer, student, reckless blogger, dreamer and an aficionado of all things funny or caffeinated.

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