Feline in Vergessenheit Geraten


What is it about cats? What inherent quality in them turns them from sweet balls of floof to instant assholes upon meeting other cats? The question has been plaguing me since Angelica brought home Claire. Meet Clair:

Tiny, fuzzy, perfect.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but cats supposedly have an inclination towards curiosity, which is why they explore countertops, despite being shooed away. It’s the same compulsion that leads them into places they know they will become trapped such as closets and bathrooms. Setting personal safety aside, cats will allow their curiosity to lead them into ill-advised situations, survival instincts be damned. So why is it then, that if a new cat comes into their home, rather than allowing curiosity to guide them, do they become sociopathic, frightened, or aggressive little freaks? In many cases, they don’t care that the new cat could be really cool. That it could maybe be their best friend. They don’t care about checking out the cornucopia of new smells in their fur like they do with our shoes when we walk outside and back in. None of this matters to them. It’s new. They want it dead. End of story.

The cats in our house all handle new cats differently…and by that, I mean that they all make shitty first impressions.

Sets cat on the ground in my house: “Meet Jamie! He’s really nice and-“


“Oh my freaking god. Wtf.”

Jamie’s so cute, and generally good-natured, but something about meeting friends turns him into…I don’t even know what. The sound he makes is like nothing of this earth. It’s deep and guttural. A cross between “I’m about to huck up the biggest hairball you’ve ever seen” and Satan singing in the shower. If I recorded it, Hollywood would surely use it in some horrifying movie about demon/alien hybrids cause the corpses of their victims to explode through terror or sound waves.


Meanwhile, upstairs, Raia and Zoey are in the throws of adapting to a new kitten in the house. Their space has been invaded and they aren’t simply going to stand idly by…well…not really

Zoey, the world’s only U-Boat shaped cat, takes her hostility out by hiding in the bedroom, feigning indifference, and swatting occasionally. Can you imagine if people did this? Oh, wait…I forgot about my mother…

And then there’s Raia. Raia doesn’t know how to handle confrontation. She’s obviously wounded by the fact that there is someone new in her environment, and she’s feeling it in ways that cannot be expressed by a mere tuxedo.

Enter Emo Raia.

 “Just because her eyes don’t tear, doesn’t mean that her heart doesn’t cry” – Emo Raia

 “She changed to be cold, so no one could hurt her” – Emo Raia

“I wish I could go back to a time when i could smile and it didn’t take everything in me to do it” -Emo Raia 

 “You broke my heart, but I still love you with all the pieces” – Emo Raia

“She wore a thousand faces, all to hide her own” – Emo Raia

Raia is apparently trying to pout Claire to death.

At least she’s quiet.

About Melynda

Writer, student, reckless blogger, dreamer and an aficionado of all things funny or caffeinated.

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